Be The Shoulder to Lean On: Supporting Those in Distress

Written By: Maryam Adhyan Shafeeq

How many times have we pushed aside something troubling us to focus on something we believed was more important? How many times have we thought, “Let's just get through today, and then think about it,” or “I don’t have time to break down or cry because I’m too busy”? Now take a moment to think: how many times do you think your family, or your friend, or a coworker might have had the same thoughts throughout the day? During a time when everyone has their hands full with multiple responsibilities and their schedules packed with endless errands, people have begun to pull away from each other. We see each other every day, but how often do we know what the other person is going through? Checking in on one another, taking the time to sit down and have a chat with the people close to you is important. Social support is one of the strongest threads that can pull someone out of distress.

Social support refers to the support an individual receives and perceives (Harandi, et al., 2017). In this case, this refers to the support you receive from your family, friends, and anyone close to you. Naturally, when you spend time with the people you have categorised as ‘your people’, you feel good afterwards, and at times, lighter, in the sense that spending time with them and talking to them was an escape from the things that weigh you down. Studies have found that positive social interactions with family and friends can foster a sense of security, thereby reducing anxiety (Harandi et al., 2017). As part of a circle of people linked together, it becomes a responsibility to check in on the people they are linked to. At times, even a small ‘how are you?’ can lift someone’s mood. A lot of the time, people might not take the initiative and say that they need someone, that they need help. This is why, as individuals, we should strive to take that proactive step to make it easier for those who might be going through a hard time.

Someone who might be going through any form of mental health problems could withdraw from others. Reasons for this can vary, but fear of discrimination is extremely common. Many individuals facing mental health issues report being excluded or avoided upon sharing their problems, and receiving dismissive and judgemental attitudes from people they trust often reduces the chances of them seeking the help they need (Morgan, et al., 2025). Social withdrawal and avoiding others might even be part of the mental health disorder of the individual, which can make it even more challenging (Morese, et al., 2020). Thus, it brings us back to those around the

individual who could step in and help. Providing social support in the simplest of ways can make the biggest difference at times.

Everyone needs to be familiar with the signs and symptoms to look out for in someone who might be facing difficulties. Providing appropriate emotional support, directing practical help needed to complete daily tasks, encouraging and motivating them to prioritise self-care activities and pushing them to seek the professional help they need are all things people can do (Morgan, et al., 2025). If you notice someone around you is quieter than usual, take them aside for a coffee or snack and let them share what’s on their mind. Studies have shown that venting is linked with reduced internalising symptoms and higher levels of perceived support (Trần, et al., 2023). This means that simply sharing what worries a person and having someone listen to them can make them feel extremely supported.

Not everyone will want to tell you that they might not be feeling the best. So let’s try to be kinder, more caring, and more aware of the people around us. We don’t know how small or how big someone’s troubles might be. Yet we can be an immense help simply by ensuring that they have a shoulder to lean on.

References

Harandi, T. F., Taghinasab, M. M., & Nayeri, T. D. (2017). The correlation of social support with mental health: A meta-analysis. Electronic physician, 9(9), 5212–5222. https://doi.org/10.19082/5212

Morese, R., Palermo, S., Torello, C., & Sechi, F. (2020). Social Withdrawal and Mental Health: An Interdisciplinary Approach. In Social Isolation - An Interdisciplinary View. IntechOpen. https://doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.90735

Morgan, A. J., Wright, J., Mackinnon, A. J., Reavley, N. J., Rossetto, A., Le, L. K. D., & Jorm, A. F. (2025). Receiving support for mental health problems from family and friends: Measurement and impact on mental health, relationships, and help-seeking. PLOS Mental Health, 2(12), https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmen.0000502