Healthy Friendships, Balanced Boundaries, and a Clear Mind.

Written by: Maryam Adhyan Shafeeq

Often, when you have a big moment in your life, there are a certain group of people that you would immediately think of sharing the news with. A group of loved ones that are beyond the ones in your family, and related to you by blood. Your found family, your friends. Having good friends around to spend time with gives people a boost of positive emotions, which usually comes hand in hand with feelings of accomplishment and a helping hand through difficult times. It’s not always happy news that someone would take to these friends. Who do you run to when you have to face something heartbreaking? Who do you make plans with after a bad week at work? Who do you call when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your daily life? Having a friend you can rely on immensely strengthens your support system, though friendships can also take quite a bit of effort to maintain in a healthy manner. 

So, how does it help when you’re around people who make you feel good about yourself? Generally, one would pick those who share similar thoughts and interests as their friends, and over time, they become someone one would spend time with repeatedly, building an emotional bond which they can rely on. Having supportive friends can provide consolation during stressful times and help manage the mental load by doing things they enjoy together, whereas isolating oneself can induce low moods and loneliness (Skou Storm, 2025). It is even suggested that people who have strong emotional connections and a close circle of support have lower levels of stress and better health, both physically and mentally (Johnson, 2022). If one were to dive into a deeper understanding, studies have suggested that friendships can impact the processes related to reward and motivation in boosting one’s well-being (Güroğlu, 2022). However, there are times when friendships do not go the way one would expect. There are situations where friendships, perhaps not a healthy one, can feel draining. 

Some of the qualities that people can agree are vital for a healthy friendship can be trust, communication, and understanding. Once breached, there can be an uncomfortable feeling where those involved could feel a strain in their relationship. People share stories, events, thoughts and feelings of their everyday lives with the people they are most comfortable with. When actions such as gossiping to others, spreading rumours, and breaking this confidentiality occur, it can entirely shake the bond that one has (Tan & Toprak, 2025). Different people would react differently, and if someone takes any kind of abrupt step towards a close friendship, it is important to take a moment to consider their friend’s behaviour and try to understand their perspective (Tan & Toprak, 2025). There can be various other problems that might occur, but for someone one considers so dear to them, if something were to go awry, it is worth approaching the problem with understanding and patience. To communicate clearly, it is essential to remain calm, which shows an effort from oneself in fixing the problem in a healthy manner (Tan & Toprak, 2025).  

Many times, one might want to cut off someone who has hurt them. Although this significantly depends on the context of the problem, it is not impossible to maintain these specific qualities in a friendship to reduce the occurrence of such misunderstandings. In cases where proper communication and understanding do not take place, or if one’s trust is repeatedly broken, this can cause a severe crack in their relationship. Especially for those who find it hard to be open about their feelings, this breach in their trust can impact their mental health quite hard. Moreover, if one is constantly being relied on and not receiving the same treatment back, this can prompt multiple negative emotions towards this friendship. In simpler terms, if the support and reliability are not being reciprocated, one might likely want to distance themselves or entirely end the friendship (Apostolou, 2023). This might be done in various ways, depending on the severity of the problem that occurred between the people. Whether one were to immediately cut off the person or gradually distance themselves varies from person to person (Apostolou, 2023). However, continuing to keep someone who frequently upsets you and breaks your trust would cause significant amounts of stress to anyone. 

Having a strong circle of support around you to celebrate your wins, help you through difficult times and help you keep a clear mind is a treasure to hold close. As special as they are, each person needs to understand the effort they need to put in to ensure they remain a treasure to you, and not something that drains you. A good friendship should be a balance between everyone involved, and if someone were to break this balance, continue to make one feel uncomfortable, that understanding no longer exists. Clear communication and understanding are essential to ensure that the trust in your friendship does not break. 

References

Apostolou, M. (2023). This has to end: An explorative analysis of the strategies people use in order to terminate an undesirable friendship. Personality and Individual Differences, 209, 112211. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2023.112211

Güroğlu, B. (2022). The power of friendship: The developmental significance of friendships from a neuroscience perspective. Child Development Perspectives, 16(2), 110-117. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12450 

Johnson, K. J. (2022). " I am not a bad friend for having boundaries": exploring the need for and creation of support boundaries in friendships (Master's thesis, Colorado State University). 

Skou Storm, I. M., Ulstrup Smedemark, R. A. M., Holen, M., Hybholt, L., Austin, S. F., Simonsen, E., ... & Berring, L. L. (2025). The meaning of friendships in the mental health recovery of young adults—A thematic analysis. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 46(1), 47-57. https://doi.org/10.1080/01612840.2024.2424767